Directionless Ramblings by No One of Consequence

Happy 420

So, 4:20 PM is when all the stoners are supposed to smoke it up. April 20th is like National Stoner Day.

To celebrate, I’ve enlisted the help of my very chillaxed looking Pillow Pet. Lookit that face!

It's a stoner, It's a frog. It's Stoner-Frog!

Not a real joint BTW. I don’t contribute to the delinquency of plush animals. And I’m not stupid like Michael Phelps. ;)

Also, for your entertainment, some vintage  Cheech and Chong!

ENJOY!

 

 

 

 

 

Not Abandoned

Hello, dear followers. If any of you are left. I have not abandoned this blog to the dusty corners of the net.

I’ve been going through a very stressful time with my family.  My blog is still fairly new, and I haven’t gotten very personal on it yet, so I’m not too comfortable getting into the details. I had to go way out of town last week for emergency hospital-y type things. Things are not completely better yet, and may not be for awhile. But I am home, and things are back to normal for me at least.

 

I would like to tell you all one bit of advice. No matter your age or level of health, if you are an adult living on your own, make yourself a living will and even a regular will. You never know what could happen, and people need to be aware of your wishes. This is the second time I’ve been in a situation like this. It is very very stressful on the families not to know these things.

Please forgive the vagueness, I’m just not comfortable having the details out on such a new blog in which people don’t know me well yet. Just felt like I should post something to keep it going.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love action movies. They’re awesome. Seriously. No finer form of cinematic entertainment exists. What’s not to like about any of the following thematic elements.

  • Diabolically intelligent sociopath (usually some sort of sexy foreigner) bent on blowing up the city for no other reason than to torture Our Hero

    Simon Gruber

    Pictured: Snape's Brother

  • Our Tortured Hero. Either an ex-cop, nearly fired cop, ex military, ex special forces, or regular guy who suddenly is forced to become a badass. He hates society. Hates authority. Is usually a drunk or has some other character flaw. He’s a smart ass, plays by his own rules. Has marital problems. The bad guy almost always goes after his family. He doesn’t shave.

    Pictured: Not John McClane, but it might as well be.

  • EXPLOSIONS Somethings always has to explode, whether it should or not. Cars without gas, fire hydrants, gas stations, somebody’s garage, a boat, a covered wagon, a random piece of forest, and my personal favorite: The Chrysler Building. That thing is always falling down!

    Pictured: The most hated building in New York

  • Annoying Sidekick. Usually a kid, younger person or black guy. This is the salt to Our Hero’s pepper. He’s an optimist while Our Hero is the gravest of cynics. He’s clean and fashionable while Our Hero is grungy and wears wife beaters. He listens to the coolest trendy pop music, Our Hero likes good old fashioned Rock and Roll. He recycles and has faith in the goodness of people, Our Hero throws beer cans out his car window to pop the homeless guy pushing a shopping cart. He’s a pathetic wimp who couldn’t stand up to a little girl kicking his shins. Our Hero doesn’t take shit from anybody. He’s got super ninja nerd powers, and Our Hero still can’t run a VCR. But, it doesn’t really matter how good he is there’s always something about this guy that makes you want Our Hero to smash his face in.

    Pictured: ANNOYING

  • Sexy Sidekick. Sometimes indistinguishable from the Annoying Sidekick due to his goodness. But he’s usually got a bad-ass side to back it up. He’s Our Hero’s right hand man. Best Friend from forever. Annoys the crap out of Our Hero, but they compliment each other. He’s often cleaner and sometimes better looking than Our Hero. He doesn’t always have to be sexy, though. The fact that he’s such a good friend will make him sexy in our hearts. He sticks with Our Hero no matter what. Keeps him from going totally darkside. Gets him up off his sorry ass and out saving the world. Gives him pep talks, and well placed snark. Takes away his scotch when necessary.

    Pictured:The only reason Jack O'Neill is still alive.

  • SEXY CARS. Sometimes exploding. Sometimes not. But we like it when they explode. Oh yes we do.

    Pictured: Sexiest Car on Television

One of my favorites is Con-Air. It’s got it all.

  • Diabolically Intelligent Sociopath. Check. Cyrus “The Virus” Grissom. Killed more men than cancer. Not really after Our Hero at first, but he fits the bill. All except for sexy. And foreign. You lose points for that John Malkovitch.

    Pictured: Not a sexy socio.

  • Our Tortured Hero. Cameron Poe. US Army Ranger sent to prison for using his deadly Ranger skills in a bar fight. He’s not really an anti-hero. More of a boy scout. But he’s got some serious anger issues, and he doesn’t shave.

    Pictured: The Best Nicolas Cage has ever looked.

  • Annoying Sidekick/Sexy Sidekick. Vince Larkin. He’s an annoying do-gooder, yet badass and not bad looking. He’s got some cojones. Why? Because he’s scared as shit, but does what needs to be done anyway. Plus he steals a car. Poe doesn’t know him, but he’s the only guy lending him a helping hand through the whole movie.

    Pictured: Nerd with a gun. Rawr.

  • Sexy Car. Oh yes. The AZZ KICKR Corvette. Yummy. Driven by a douchebag who doesn’t deserve it, but he gets his.

    Pictured: Chief Miles O'Brien's Car

Who can forget this scene.

Yes my friends. Con-Air has it all. Explosions. Good guys, bad guys. Hot cars. One-liners. Dead bodies falling from the sky to smash a car out on a Sunday drive. They crash a plane onto the Las Vegas strip. Excitement and adventure around every turn.

But then, after all the shoot-em-up, bare knuckle, Yippe-Ki-Yay-Motherfucker, action bad-assery. They hit you with this scene.

Whyyyyy? If I wanted to get all sappy I’d watch that movie where Patrick Swayze haunts Demi Moore or something. Not this Over the Top Action Extravaganza!

Pictured: NOT a sappy movie. No tears here.

Con-Air. The first movie to ever move me to tears. No lie.

Flowers for Easter

HAPPY EASTER!

These are actually from a garden years ago, but I currently don’t have a flower garden to share with you. So these will have to suffice.

Enjoy. :)

And Laziness Ensues

Ok. First off, I hate my android keyboard. The one on my phone made so much more sense. Anyway please forgive the typos.

THREE DAY WEEKEND GET! What ever shall I do with all this time? The possibilities are endless. I could learn a new skill. Like whittling. I hear it’s popular in the Appalations. Speaking of which, I could learn to make moonshine! Yes. Moonshine. Happiness and blindness for all!
No. That wown’t work. I live in a crowded, albeit quiet neighborhood with my landlord right next door. And my car isn’t fast enough. I’m lucky to get her to highway speed most days. And she leaks just about every fluid there is. Even ketchup. Dont ask. I made it up.
Hey. Making things up. I could start on my novel for the four hundredth time. Isnt that what they say? 401st tiwmes the charm? Its an awesome tale. The characters do stuff. And things. No?
Let me think. I could do gardening. Or housework. Eh. Too muchd like work.
Go for a walk? Cold outside. Fishing? Yes.
I could take this time to go on an epic fishing advzenture. Ill get a,boat and head out to twhe ocean with a legless man and a hat full of hopes and dreams. Through the power of positive thinking, and my unwavering faith in god, and simple righteous determination, i will become the most prolificshrimp fisherman that ever lived. A restaurant will be named after me and I will become rich beyond my wildest dreams. My crippled friend will getw NASA legs and I will spend my afternoons sitting at the bus stop offering people chocolate covered wisdom.
Wait. Somebody did that already didnt they. Dammit. All the good seats are taken.

I give up. It is just too hard to come up with something to do for three days. I’m just going to spend my days off sleeping. Speaking of which. Back to my nap.

COMING SOON: Whdy I hate my android keyboard.

You might be wondering what on earth this title is about. All in good time. There’s a little bit of backstory first. This will be an insight into the inner workings of my mind. It will be awesome. Trust me.

So I’ve got one of those rubber wristband things. A couple actually.  “I <3 Ron Paul Champion of the Constitution” is one. I like the guy. I think he’s awesome. So sue me. The other is  “I <3 Boobies.” which everyone seems to have. I wonder why?  I’d like to make my own band thingies someday. With logos and sayings of my choosing. There’s a website that does that, but I think it deals in bulk. I only want one. Is that such a bad thing?

Aaaaanyway.

I was smushing the wristbands up and down, because that’s what I do when I’m bored. I fidget with things. Sometimes I chew on them (pen lids OM NOM NOM) if they’re chewy. I try not to chew on my wristbands though, (although they are perfectly chewy!) it tends to make them rip in half.

Er. I got lost again, so sorry.

While I was smushing them, I was amused by how the letters get fatter from stretching the rubber. I smushed along the word “Constitution” on my RP band, and had to chuckle, because I just now noticed that TIT is right in the middle of the word. Then I laughed some more, because right across from “TIT” on my right hand is “BOOBIES” on my left hand! How wonderful! I can put the two together!

It’s a perfect slogan. “I put the TIT in Constitution.”

But what does that even mean?

How do I implement it?

Then I thought about it for awhile. And I came up with a brilliant solution.

First off nobody wants to read The Constitution. It’s a dusty old document written by a bunch of stuffy old men who speak illegible old timey English. It’s boring. Too difficult to read.YAWN. Prawnserf.

Americans would rather looks at BEWBS than educate themselves ….

 

Wait a minute!!

 

 

 

Pictured: NOT my boobs. Close, but not them.

TA-DAH! Or should I say TA-TA! Now even politicians will read The Constitution. :D

I’m a genius. Have a great day.

 

 

Versatility!

A big thanks to Randomdeviations  for nominating me for this award! I never expected my blog to take off as much as it had. So another BIG thanks to those of you are following me! I’ll try to keep the good stuff coming for your continued entertainment! :D

Now go check out Randomdeviations she’s got a very quirky and upbeat blog. Her style is fun and relaxed, and very entertaining!

Apparently this award comes with rules . . .

1. Thank the person who gave you this award and include a link to their blog. Did this. :D

2. Share 7 things about yourself  I’m feeling very lazy today. (writing wise, I’m actually bouncing back and forth between this and housework (; ) I think I’ll do this one when I go to redo my about page.

3. Choose 15 blogs/bloggers that you enjoy and nominate them for the Versatile Blogger Award This might take awhile. I don’t think I know quite 15 yet, but there are quite a few very good blogs I lurk at from the bushes, creep upon, look at every now and then.  So I will do this one in time.

And now, back to doing the dishes! YAY